Just to be clear...

      I have people asking me All the time about the military life. This world is very interesting and I want to share our experiences of deployment, army living, and this incredible world that not many know about through my blogs. HOWEVER I do know the OPSEC rules and will NOT be giving details on my husbands missions, details about equipment or specific dates on when our soldiers travel. I will share what happens through deployment on our end. Goodbye pics, stories of coping and challenges with kids, welcome home pictures and so on.
       A little Info on OPSEC rules...

OPSEC --- Rules You Have to Follow!!

   OPSEC, also known as Operational Security, is the principle that we, as Army wives and family members, should all abide by when talking about our soldiers. This means protecting the information you know about your soldier and his unit.
Generally, it means that you should not give out the following:
- Your soldier’s exact location overseas
- Any information on troop movements – this includes any movement while they are deployed and in transit to/from  (including R&R). Do not ever give dates or times.
- Any information on weapons systems, how they train or numbers – for this reason, many pictures from overseas can easily violate OPSEC
Always abide by the rules set forth by his unit. Just because it is on the news does not mean that you can talk about the issue. By talking about it, you are only verifying the information.
Some examples...
CORRECT:
My soldier is deployed in support of Iraqi Freedom or Enduring Freedom
INCORRECT:
My soldier is in XYZ Unit and is stationed at ABC Camp in XXX city in Iraq.
Give only general locations IF his unit allows it. The above incorrect statement is entirely too much information.
INCORRECT: My soldier’s unit is returning from deployment and flying into XYZ Airport at 8pm next Thursday.
Never give dates or times for troop movements. Keep in mind that “next Thursday” is a date. This includes R&R dates as well as deployment and redeployment dates. Planes have been delayed for days or weeks because an excited family member made this information public. (We had this happen in Alaska the soldiers were held from coming home because an army wife talked about a specific date and time our soldiers would be arriving from NTC) 
INCORRECT: Please pray for my soldier. He called today and told me he is going out on a very dangerous mission tonight. They will be gone for three days and I’m very worried about him. 
      When our soldiers are in dangerous situations, it is natural to want to reach out to others. But the above statement puts your soldier and his unit in danger. You could have very well just alerted the enemy about their mission. 
      It is important to realize that putting together the bits and pieces needed to create the larger picture can be amazingly simple on the Internet. Many mistakenly believe that if they don’t talk about it all at once, the information is safe. This is wrong and dangerous to assume. 
      The Internet is a wonderful tool but in regards to our military, it is a very dangerous one as well. It takes only minutes of searching online to find enough pieces of information that could potentially endanger our soldiers. 
      The old saying loose lips sink ships still holds true today. Keep your soldier, your family and his unit safe by keeping the information you know to yourself. 

DONE! Welcome back!

       "Hello Mrs.Killion? This is Sergeant ... I'm calling to let you know your soldier will be landing at 1pm tomorrow afternoon, will need picked up at the battery (his work)."
      My reply went something like this "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Okay! Thank you!"
When I got the phone call I was expecting I was at the grocery store loading up on all of Mikes favorite things.
      Waiting at the battery early I hear  tapping on Masons window, looked back and saw  our soldier (a very dirty soldier) He was saying "Maaaaason, hey bud." Mason was VERY unsure. When we got home Mike grabbed Mason out of the car still unsure. I kept telling Mason "Its daddy, say hiiiii daddy." still nothing he looked at dad like a stranger. We got in the house Mike continued to hold Mason, I had to run to the car because I forgot something Mason started crying when I walked out the door. He wasn't sure about dad, leaving his dad sad to the point of tears. I came back in, grabbed Mason, started hugging Mike and kissing him to show Mason its daddy. He still didn't understand. This went on for more then an hour. Mike didn't give up he gave Mason candy, played with him and did the special silly things that only him and his dad does. He finally loosened up a little.

      Now It was FINALLY time to pick Dylan up from school. Dylan knew dad would be with me in the parent pick up line but the reaction we got from him was like we surprised him. (cant seem to upload the video) Dylan ran to the car (which running is NOT allowed at the school parking area) and instantly started crying. He continued to say "daaaady, daaaady" while crying. He climbed in the car and went directly to the front seat where dad was, hugged him and cried some more. Mike was happy he was missed but of course didn't like that his son was crying.
                                

My soldiers to do list when he got home was the following

                                                                1.) A 2 hour shower (he hardly got showers while he was gone just cleaned himself up army style...baby wipes.
                                                                2.) Buffet (A month of MREs he was ready for some real food and ALOT of it!
                                                                3.) Junk food and relax with his family
      It was buffet time. Normally Dylan sits by me but he wasn't about to leave dads side. He wanted dad to help him get his food, his drink and would even walk with dad when he already had his food at the table. He told dad a million times he missed him and was so happy he was back home.
      Our evening consisted of toasting to wine (for Dylan non alcoholic wine) to celebrate our soldier being home. We curled up to movies and junk food. Our soldier was very happy to be home to his family and we were happy to have him. Next stop DEPLOYMENT!

 

While he's out...

      The 30 days have begun. I called the school and told them Dylan will not be at school the day his dad would be leaving. Mike and I both felt that Dylan should have a little down time. It was a huge discussion because our thoughts were...Do we pull him from school and allow him to be sad? Or do we put him in school to keep his mind busy? No one knows our son like we do so we thought if he had a bum day at home and wasn't expected to do anything he would be ready to go back to school with a good attitude. That decisions was a good one. No Dylan didn't mope around the house but when he wanted to talk to me about dad being gone I was right there to answer any questions he had.
      Also the day Mike left I cancelled all therapies for our youngest son who was born with Down Syndrome. Not so much a break for him (although I'm sure he enjoyed it) but a break for me so I didn't have to feel overwhelmed and stressed. So I could cope and adjust.The day Mike left was not a sad day but just a "okay hes gone...now what?"
      The first few days surprisingly went well. Dylan was doing fine at school, he was happy and I stuck to my daily routine. Then came the first day of no communication. LET THE MELT DOWNS BEGIN. Dylan would say " I want to talk to my daddy, call him." 99% of the time I would call he wouldn't answer because he was busy and had his phone off. I would tell Dylan "Daddy calls every chance he gets bud." Of course that wouldn't help.
      The hardest times for Dylan to cope was about supper time when we were normally hearing combat boots walking in the door, story time, and bed time. Those are the usual times Mike spends with the boys. So our evenings would be full of questions "How many days left? Did daddy call yet?" and tears. "I miss my daddy so bad. I want my daddy to come home now."
      One night I was laying in bed and I could hear Dylan crying. I listened to him I would hear him say "I miss you daddy." Standing in the hallway I peaked in Dylan's room he was laying on his side with his special bear him and his dad made wrapped tight in his arms. He would be pressing the foot so I would hear "Love you Dylan, Miss you" Dylan would say " I miss you daddy" "Love you Dylan, miss you" and again Dylan would say with a sad voice "I miss you daddy." this would go on for a while. Standing in the hall way tears would roll down my face. Its hard to support something that makes your 6 year old sad and cry. I knew this is the part that I had to be strong. Saying a little prayer in the hallway for the lord to give me strength, wiping away the tears and walking in Dylan's room. I grabbed Dylan and said "Its okay buddy. I know its hard for daddy to be gone but he misses you too and will be home soon." That night I laid in bed with him till he fell asleep.
      As the days would go on the harder it got for Dylan as I knew it would. Dylan's teacher started talking to me about  Dylan  having a hard time concentrating, he doesn't want to play with the other kids and he is sad. She said If you want him to bring a picture, or something special that would be okay. The next day Max (his special bear) was in Dylan's backpack ready for a day at school. Dylan got to carry Max around and got to hold him any time he wanted. That day when I picked Dylan up from school his teacher walked to my car, gave me a thumbs up and invited Max for another day. This seemed to help...temporarily.
      Anyone that says "Its only 30 days" I dare you to say that to a 6 year old daddy's boy. This wasn't easy. The school days carried on and Dylan struggled. I knew there was a support group for kids when their dads were deployed we knew it was a must when it was deployment time. Dylan's teacher told me she talked to the lady who runs the support group and wanted to welcome Dylan to it even though his dad was not deployed yet. I was thrilled. It was a group that Dylan would hang out with other kids who were going through the same thing, get to play games, write letters to their dads, and talk about their dads. I wanted Dylan to know hes not alone and get to talk to someone other then his mom.
      The melt downs would continue at home. Dylan has everything from a dvd with dad reading to him, books about soldiers being away, a picture book of him and his dad, his special bear and his special toy his dad got him before leaving. These little things would calm him down for a little while but lets face it nothings better then the real thing.
      I didn't want the rules to slide or Dylan get away with things he would never get away with when dad was home, so things like him sleeping in bed with me or staying up and watch tv bc hes sad wouldn't fly. However I started to get creative. I let Dylan sleep with his dads pillow, wear his dads shirts to bed every night, even things like wearing dads deodorant and body spray. Would always make Dylan smile.
      With our youngest son I didn't notice a difference in behavior he was still a happy little cuddle bug. As for me there were times I felt really overwhelmed. Our car which we barely have had problems with, I had it in the shop twice, my dishwasher broke, my tv started to give out, and I had unwanted drama with neighbors who used to be close friends which made me get to my breaking point. One of the hardest parts about being a military wife is feeling alone.When things go wrong or I'm sad I cant run across town to my families house for help or comfort, nope I'm all alone. The only way I got through the chaos was phone calls to my family, friends visiting, and lots of prayer. Living away from family isn't the hardest thing when my husband is home because he is someone I confide in, can cry to and is there for me. When you take the husband out of the equation its nearly impossible to be away from family.
      Out of the "box" riiiiiiing riiiiiiiing. The first phone call after not talking two weeks is so awkward and exciting. Its awkward because so much has happened in a two weeks time (especially having kids) So Mike would ask me a million questions but I would tell him the basics acting like "pfft everything is fine here" when really I wanted to spill my beans and cry. The last thing I wanted to do was worry him and make him feel helpless. So we would talk about the kids or his training. Dylan would be crying to dad, not because he was sad because he was happy and knew in a couple days dad would be home. He would sob with happiness and in between the crying he would say how happy he was.
      30 days was coming to an end. I have mixed emotions about the training being over. Happy but sad at the same time. Sad only because after training comes deployment and if the month of training is a preview of what deployment is going to be like I have great concerns on my sanity.

30 days let the count down begin...

      30 days..."Stacy its ONLY 30 days" Is something I have heard several times. However that has NEVER been said to me from another army wife or my husband bc they know 30 days can seem like a lifetime. The hardest thing for me is I'm not guaranteed ANY communication with my soldier while he is gone for the month. They aren't there long enough to receive letters and from the time they get there till they come home they are busy. NTC is a necessary training they are out in the desert so when they are in the "box" they get no communication which is approx. 2 weeks. I'm not new to NTC this is my second time around so I know how it works and what is expected of the soldiers. I wasn't an army wife before kids so all I know is 2 weeks without dad talking to Dylan was going to be very difficult. When we lived in Alaska I was a part of the FRG and we would have meetings prior to NTC and get higher enlisted talking to us about what is expected of the soldiers, of the FRG leaders, and so on...So I got to understand NTC from a business stand point which helped me a lot.

"Love you bud, I will miss you"
"Love you daddy"

      Mike had to be at work to load the bus at 1 am. So he went to bed early. Going to bed early was my intention but as I laid in my soldiers arms while he slept I laid wide awake. My alarm went off still not getting an ounce of sleep.Too much on my mind. I got up with Mike so I could help him load the car with his bags and get the kids up and ready to go.
      I try to stay strong and not get all emotional on him but I hold him tight, cry a little, tell him not to go. What can I say? I'm his wife I will miss him! But I get myself together so the last thing he doesn't see is a cry baby wife. He knows that he can leave and everything will be fine and I support his career a trillion percent.
      Mike isn't an emotional person but anytime he has to say bye to me and the kids he gets choked up. Before he got out of the car I told him "I'm proud of you everything will be fine here you do what you gotta do and get home to us." And so the count down begins...

NTC preperation...

      NTC is approximately 30 days but the preparation, training, some weekends and late nights begin about a month before NTC. We see our soldier a little bit in the evenings and sometimes the kids go to bed without seeing their daddy at all. When we were stationed in Alaska we were preparing for our first deployment and our soldier trained in California then also. So preparing for training this time was a repeat of 2 years ago with another child this time around.
       We talked to Dylan (our 6 year old) and let him know how long dad was going to be gone, where dad was going, and what dad was doing while he was gone. Sometimes Dylan would ask a million questions and others he would ask us not to talk about it. Every chance Mike got he would spend extra time with Dylan. They went on daddy/Dylan dates or would stay up on a school night play games or snuggle to a movie.
      A tradition we started was dad buying a special gift for Dylan. (Masons too young to understand still)  He bought Dylan a special toy when he went to boot camp, again when we left him for AIT, and both times dad left for NTC.

      The weekend before Mike leaves is always the worst because its the only thing on our mind. THIRTY DAYS! THIRTY DAYS! So we took off and did something to keep our minds busy. The North Pole in Colorado Springs. The rule: no talking about our soldier being gone for a month.

A fun day full of smiles ending with dinner and a movie. The last month has been spent watching our soldier getting his army gear together, talking about "while I'm gone..." so it was a MUST we got out of the house for some fun. 

The day before Mike left we took Dylan to Build a Bear to make a special bear. Its an army bear but the special part is dad recorded a message and the message was placed in the foot. It says "Love you Dylan Miss you." every time he pushes the button he gets to hear his dad and snuggle with the bear. Dylan named his bear Max! 

Last thing I had to do was talk to Dylan's teacher and luckily teacher conferences was a few days before dad left. I gave the teacher a heads up that Dylan doesn't do well with dad being gone, the older he is getting the harder it is for him. The behaviors I see from Dylan when dad is gone is emotional break downs, extra clingy, and a little spacey. Hard to get his attention. After a long talk and an advanced apology his teacher told me she works with only military children and has done special training. She also is a Military child herself so she understands the kids behaviors. She continued to tell me If there is anything she could do, if talking to Dylan or allowing Dylan to bring a picture of dad, a special stuff animal to school then she will allow that not to be afraid to ask.

With extra long hugs and kisses knowing the day is around the corner we felt prepared and ready to go. Lets get this 30 days over